it's better than bad, it's good*

Is it just me or is it wrong (wrong, wrong, WRONG) that the knitting section on eBay is right at the bottom of the page. You can 'But it's just alphabetised' all you like, there is no way I'm every going to believe that Candle and Soapmaking gets more action than Knitting. It should so be listed by Most Action. If it keeps up I'm going to get repetitive strain in my index finger from using the little rolly ball on my mouse. Clearly, whoever put the eBay crafts page together is not a knitter. I bet they're a scrapbooker. Why else would Cardmaking and Scrapbooking be united as one? There must be a way to correct this.

God, I'm so angsty. All day I've fretted and stormed and furrowed. There has not been a Single Moment when emphatic capitals haven't been in use. Everything has been huge. Monstrous. So freaking ginormous that I can barely see the sun. It's like an eclipse. All or nothing, and terrifyingly mostly all.

After a week of taking the bus to Vauxhall, I decided to take the train instead, thus affording me an extra half hour of mooching around looking at shirts (I went with the blue gingham cowgirl). It was cancelled, no explanation. I was thisclose to tearing up the ticket operators protective booth and throwing it on the tracks.

At lunch I watched a log* get chased down the Thames by some weirdly crested ducks, and got chased by a squirrel. It kept circling me, eyeing my sandwich, very clearly sizing me up. I so would have clobbered it had it tried anything. That sandwich was not for sharing.

Interestingly, around the same time I discovered a small parklet with a collection of statues of nubile nymphs cavorting nakedly in lusty excitement. It was like an episode of Benny Hill, frozen, on the edge of time. (FYI: that last sentence ought to be read a la Daisy in Spaced.) It's surreally Edwardian. As soon as I looked at it I KNEW IT, and then I found the plaque to prove it. There are no pictures of it anywhere on in Google, but I can assure you there were bare bums and broken limbs everywhere. Not artfully broken, but VANDALISED. This should never have happened, there are other placards in place warning people off: Any persons found Climbing or Vandalising Statues Will be prosecuted. If you ask me, the failure of these signs was imminent due to poor capitalisation control. Your eyes become drawn to the words Climbing Vandalising Statues Will, as though the signs are egging you on. Willing you climb and vandalise willy nilly. City planners didn't see that coming, did they?

I'm not going into work tomorrow. I've been feeling my insides are trying to squeeze past each other for days now. Yesterday I couldn't stop my tailbone from trying to separate from my spine unless I shifted my hips to one side while keeping my legs perfectly straight. My eyes sting from the memory.

Tomorrow I knit and lounge and drag myself out to meet up with friends. I may even wash. I'll likely get drunk. If I wash, I'll definitely get drunk, as a reward for washing. (I washed today -- it's not like I'm completely stinky, but washing at all when you're feeling strangely wooden and feeble is momentous.) I'm also going to see if I can work out why Bluetooth has crapped out on me. I might make more roly poly. It's going to be immense.

Comments

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Oh no, and I thought you were safe from train shenanigans. If it makes you feel any better, Silverlink has been worse than ever, and not a ball of wool in sight.